Why Resolutions Fail—and How to Build Sustainable Habits

I have never enjoyed making or even thinking about New Year Resolutions. The idea of 'New Year, New You' and much like a fairy tale - things will significantly change after the stroke of midnight is a myth. You may enjoy celebrating the new year with others around you, but when I wake up the next morning and as soon as I get an email or a bill in the post, the realisation that things have not magically changed sets in.

As soon as 1st January comes around and a lot of the time a few days before, social media is filled with recommendations to 'start this exercise program/diet/suppliment and see a change in just a few weeks'. There is an underlying pressure to not only make new year resolutions but to act upon them immediantly and without delay!

Why making resolutions or goals can fail

The idea of wanting to make improvements to our lives is not a bad thing. It is often the way we are taught to go about it is where the negativity lies. We are encouraged to set ourselves a number of goals to start working on as soon as it hits 1st January. However, we have also been taught that goals need to be specific and measurable, such as; 'going to the gym three times a week'.

Goals can feel like a heavy weight of burden or responsbility, once we try to do multiple at once. If we fail to achieve one or multiple, for reasons that are understandable, the feeling of failure creeps in. They start to become just another task we have not managed to achieve. Despite our efforts to 'get back on the wagon' when setbacks arise our motivation wains.

Setting Intentions

A more meaningful way to approach making improvements in your life, is to set intentions. Intentions are a more gentle and meaningful way to approach areas you may want to improve. It is not about starting from scratch but more about building on what you have already started and taking it to the next level.

What are intentions?

Intentions are broader concepts come from you focusing on your personal values, feelings, and the kind of person you want to be, rather than specific outcomes. Intentions are guiding principles that shape your actions and mindset. Unlike goals, which are often measurable and time-bound, intentions are flexible and rooted in your inner desires.

Why do intentions work better than goals?

Many people struggle with traditional goals because they can feel restrictive or overwhelming. Here are some reasons why intentions can be more effective:

• They focus on the present moment - Intentions encourage you to act with awareness and kindness toward yourself right now, rather than waiting for a future achievement.

• They reduce pressure and guilt - When you miss a goal, it’s easy to feel like a failure. Intentions allow room for mistakes and growth without harsh judgment.

• They align with your values - Intentions connect your actions to what truly matters to you, making your efforts more meaningful.

• They promote flexibility - Life changes, and intentions can adapt without feeling like you’ve failed.

Intentions and goals working together

For those who like to have both flexibility and structure, you can set intentions as broad concepts and then put some goals in place to support this. As an example, you can set an intention such as, 'I want to live a healthier lifestyle' the goals to support this could be 'going to the gym three time a week' or 'I will try to reduce the number of times I have take out'. You can set the intention as the overall tone to provide the direction you want to go in, with the goals as ways in which you are going to move the dial.

Avoiding common pitfalls

Sometimes, it can be very easy to fall into old habits and quickly get to the point where you feel you are not being successful. Especially if you do put some goals in place and do not meet them as often as you would hope. Here are some easy tips to stay on track;

• Be gentle with yourself - Intentions are about progress, not perfection.

• Use reminders - Write your intentions on sticky notes or set phone alerts.

• Share your intentions - Talking about them with friends or family can increase accountability and support.

• Combine intentions with small actions - For example, if your intention is to "practice gratitude," start a daily journal with three things you appreciate.

• Do not make all the changes at once - Start with your most important goal or one that you find easy, do this consistently BEFORE incorporating another activity or goal.

• Revisit the intentions and goals - If there has been a significant change like an injury which is going to stop you exercising, do not be afraid to put that goal on hold.

How to set meaningful intentions

The process of setting intentions requires reflection and honesty. Here are steps to help you create intentions that resonate deeply;

• Start when its riht for you - The beginning of the year can be a good opportunity to start this work, however, if your already a few days into the week, month or year - do not think you have missed the boat. Start at a time which is meaningful to you.

• Reflect on your core values - Think about what matters most in your life. Is it kindness, creativity, health, connection, or growth? Write down your top values to guide your intentions.

• Visualise How You Want to Feel - Imagine your ideal state of mind or heart. Do you want to feel calm, confident, joyful, or balanced? Use these feelings as a foundation for your intentions.

  
  

• Write clear and positive statements - Frame your intentions in positive language. Instead of "stop being lazy," try "embrace energy and motivation." Make your intentions inspiring and uplifting.

  
  

• Keep intentions broad but specific enough to guide you - Intentions like "cultivate patience" or "practice gratitude daily" provide direction without strict rules. They allow you to interpret and apply them in various situations.

• Review and adjust regularly - Check in with your intentions weekly or monthly. Notice how they influence your choices and adjust if needed to stay aligned with your evolving self.

• Do not create too many - To avoid overwhelm, make sure you only create two or three intentions. Bear in mind that you may want to create numerous goals underneath them, so it needs to be realistic and achievable.

• Be creative and make it fun - They could be a list written into your journal, you can use stickers, post-it notes and even consider using a vision board a collection of pictures, items and quotes that mean something to you.

How intentions can influence daily life

When you set intentions, they become a compass for your daily decisions. For example, if your intention is to"nurture your body," you might choose foods that energise you or take time for gentle exercise.

Intentions also help you celebrate small wins. Instead of waiting for a big achievement, it is easier to recognise moments when you have improved. For example, if you want to eat less take out and reduced it even by a small amount over a week or month that is something to be celebrated. This builds confidence and motivation to keep moving forward.

The lasting impact of setting intentions

Unlike goals that often focus on external achievements, intentions nurture your inner world. This shift can improve mental health, reduce stress, and increase overall happiness. Intentions help you build sustainable habits that reflect who you want to be, not just what you want to do.

By embracing the process of setting intentions, rather than resolutions or goals it can become a journey of self-discovery and kindness. You can create space for growth without the pressure of deadlines or numbers. This approach invites you to live more fully and authentically.